Thyra Dane

Author of Romance. Blogs about Scandinavia, Vikings and books.


This started out in June as an assignment for Indigobuni`s smut class. I never handed in my paper to Professor Indigo and it has been in the back of my head ever since. So I took a few evening classes and hope I can still pass her class.

I hope this will sate readers of Dead without a Work Permit who are asking for/waiting for/wanting us to get to the M-part asap. This one-shot has nothing to do with any of my other stories, though. This is pure lemons. Don`t read it if you don`t like the citrus fruits.

Hugs and kisses to Rascalthemutant at the Alexander Skarsgård Library Forum for staying up tonight, reading this and correcting my mistakes. I hope you got a good night`s sleep afterwards, Rascal!

“What is this?”

I came out from my shower to find my Viking Vampire with an item, I had hoped he would never see in his hand. I looked at him, stumped for words.

“Lover, what is this?” He asked again, this time stressing `is`.

I almost answered him with a childish `what do you think it is?`, but I mentally slapped myself into the mature Sookie I knew I could be. The mature and playful Sookie.

“It`s Mr. Petersen.” I said innocently.

“Mr. Petersen?” My vampire stared at the offending object he was holding.

“Mr. Petersen?” He repeated. “Why does it have a name?”

“Well, I ordered it online from `Sextoys R Us` – and I want to add that I ordered it years before you came into my life – but they apparently felt that their customers didn`t want a package with the word `Sextoys” splayed all over the front. The package had the more anonymous `Petersen Paper Inc.` as official sender. So I chose to name it Mr. Petersen.”

I didn`t mention how often I had had fun telling myself I was going to have sex with the mysterious and hot Mr. Petersen. Being a virgin well into my 20s, pretending to have a lover called Mr. Petersen had been fun. With all the hot sex I had been getting lately, thinking back to my Mr. Petersen-only years, was just depressing. But `he` had served a purpose. And `he` had served it well.

I looked at Eric. Then I felt something through the bond. I was surprised.

“Are you jealous of Mr. Petersen?” I couldn`t believe it. A sex god like Eric couldn`t possibly feel threatened by a little piece of machinery driven by batteries? Jealousy came even heavier through the bond.

“I haven`t used Mr. Petersen in ages, Eric.” I shook my head in disbelief. Eric gone through my personal drawers, found my vibrator and now he was jealous of it?

“Sookie, you know I can smell that it has been in use lately.” He looked at me accusingly. Damned vampire smelling.

“Eric, for crying out loud! You are in Las Vegas or New Orleans half the time. And what are you doing going through my private things?” Best defense is an offense, right?

We were both quiet for some time, just staring at each other. Then Eric got a mischievous look in his eyes.

“So do you prefer Mr. Petersen to Gracious Plenty?”

I was starting out on a very boring answer along the lines `of course not, you are the best, honey`, but then something came over me.

“Oh, I`m not sure. Maybe we should make a little contest, Mr. Petersen vs. Gracious Plenty, and see who wins?”

“It won`t be a contest, Lover. It`ll be a walk-over.” He had his signature smirk on his lips and a second later I was bouncing on my bed.

Eric unwrapped me from the towel I had around my body and had himself undressed so fast I didn`t even see it. He hovered over me while kissing me gently. Then his lips trailed down my jaw to my neck where he started kissing and nipping on the spot right behind my ear, while stroking my breast with his hand.

After a while he whispered: “Can Mr. Petersen do that?”

I chuckled. “No”.

Then Eric`s mouth travelled down to the breast his hand was not currently occupying. I moaned loudly when he sucked lightly on my nipple, his fangs grazing my skin.

“Can Mr. Petersen do that?” He said, letting go of my nipple. This time my `no` was a bit more strained.

Eric rubbed Gracious Plenty against my thighs, making me painfully aware of Mr. Petersen`s shortcomings compared to the real thing. He groaned when I moved my thigh in rhythm with his hips.

Eric`s mouth went further south and soon his tongue licked a trail up and down my most sensitive parts. I moaned loudly and started to move my hips, causing Eric to hold them steady with his strong hands.

“Can Mr. Petersen do that?” Eric lifted his head up to look me in the eyes.

“ERIC!” I yelled out in frustration.

Then my strong vampire decided to suck on my pleasure knob while moving a finger inside me, searching for the little bundle of joy. When he found it I let out a deep sigh. A strong feeling started building in my fingers and toes, making its way towards my torso. When the feeling hit my stomach, my head felt lighter and I had a white light flash through my brain.

My moan was load and deep.

Eric sucked lightly while I rode out my orgasm. Then he looked up my body and waited until we made eye contact.

“Can Mr. Petersen do that?” He smiled. I just shook my head while enjoying the extreme calm that washed over my body.

Eric gave me a few minutes to regain control over my body. Then he, standing on his knees between my thighs and holding on to my hips, positioned himself at my entrance. I grabbed onto his wrists and wrapped my legs around his waist.

“Eric!” I yelled when he plunged in. It felt so good having him filling me up. He withdrew slowly and then he plunged in again. And again. And again.

My head soon started feeling light again and I could not be held responsible for the loud screams, moans and yells that came out of my mouth. Eric had turned to his mother tongue, a tongue he spoke a thousand years ago, when he shouted: “Dette er det beste. Dette er riktig.

Suddenly another orgasm washed over me and Eric wasn`t far behind. My body shook when Eric plunged harder and faster until his body stiffened while deep inside me. “Sookie!” He shouted.

Afterwards, with Eric lying on his back and me snuggling up on his chest, he whispered to the top of my head: “Can Mr. Petersen do that?”

I giggled. “No, Eric. I can promise you that Mr. Petersen can do nothing of what you can do.”

“So I win in the contest between Mr. Petersen and myself?” He started kissing my temple.

“Oh, Eric.” I moaned. “Of course you win.” Then I straightened up and looked at him. “If there ever was a contest, you`d win, of course. Hands down – or Gracious Plenty up.” I giggled at my own lame joke. Bed humor is lame – shoot me.” But really you should be partners and not competitors.”

I`m not sure what went through my mind when I made that remark. I was worn out and sated and very comfortable just snuggling with my Viking. Unfortunately I had apparently given him a great idea.

The next second Mr. Petersen was in Eric`s hand and he was studying the on and off button.

“You can regulate speed on it.” I offered my help.

I heard a low sound when he turned on Mr. Petersen.

“You need a lubricant.” I stretched a hand towards my nightstand. Eric stopped me.

“You may need a lubricant when Mr. Petersen is alone on the job, but it seems there is no need now that he has taken a partner.”

I felt light kisses on the inside of my thigh. The kisses turned into sucking and nibbling and then Mr. Petersen was at my entrance while the fingers of Eric`s other hand stroked the area just north of it.

Mr. Petersen was pushed inside, but not to the hilt. Eric was apparently looking for something and after a few strokes I had to moan loudly because he had Mr. Petersen positioned just where it felt best, making very small strokes on my G-spot. Eric`s fingers made all kinds of lovely movements and his lips nuzzled my inner thigh. The whole package was almost too much. Almost.

Mr. Petersen had always brought me pleasure when I was controlling him, but that was nothing to what Eric managed to get out of him.

Just when my orgasm hit me, Eric bit down and I came with a few less than ladylike words pouring out of my mouth.

Even if Eric and Mr. Petersen had done all the work, I was the one panting in the bed afterwards. I had to close my eyes to regain my composure. When I opened them again, I noticed that Eric sitting on his knees looking down at me. I felt the need to say something to him.

“You two were perfect partners.” I smiled.

Eric`s trademark smile was on his lips.

“Oh, we are far from finished.” He whispered and before I knew what was happening, he had me turned around and on my knees, my back against his chest. Gracious Plenty almost split me in half, the good way, when he pushed himself inside me where Mr. Petersen had just been.

Eric had one hand on my breast, partly rubbing my nipple, partly holding me steady, while the other hand guided Mr. Petersen down to where Eric`s fingers had recently brought me so much pleasure.

Eric plunged in hard again and again, the movement giving friction between me and Mr. Petersen`s mechanical spinning. I was in ecstasy and in a movement worthy of a contortionist, I grabbed Eric`s head with one hand and pulled away his hair, while turning my neck around and situating my mouth on his neck. When I felt my orgasm wash over me, I bit down and sucked hard, making Eric roar and come hard inside me.

We fell down on the bed in total exhaustion. I was struggling to catch my breath and Eric had some major tremors going through his body.

In the background I heard the low sound of Mr. Petersen.

After 10 minutes I managed to whisper “you and Mr. Petersen are very fine partners.”

Eric turned us around so he could look me in the eyes.

“You know, I do expect you to show me how you manage Mr. Petersen. Maybe I can learn from your years of experience.” His confident smile showed me his ulterior motive.

“I`ll give you a private peep show one day, Eric. But now I want to snuggle. My orgasm jar is full.”

I gave him a kiss and lay down on his chest. A sated sigh escaped my lips.

One thought on “Mr. Petersen vs. Gracious Plenty: Complete

  1. Jackiedm69 says:

    Loved this and of course the Great Eric Northman would have made it a competition. ..

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: