First of all I want to apologize for having you wait this long for and update. But I`ve written all of Dust Bunnies and Christmas Presents so updates should be regular now.
I want to thank Suki59 very much for betaing the rest of Dust Bunnies. She is an amazing beta and I`m so pleased she wanted to do this for me.
Finally – a word of warning. Towards the ending of this chapter there is a scene that might me disturbing for some. To me and a lot of people it`s a very normal practice, but to some it`s disgusting. Not going to say what it is or I will spoil you, but you`ve been warned. Well, sort of, at least.
“She`s coming, she`s coming!”
I knew I was behaving like a little child seeing Santa, but when I had read Sookie`s e-mail, I called Pam immediately.
“If you are calling me to tell me that whatever girl you have in bed with you is coming, then you`re even more immature than I thought you were,” she dead-panned.
“Shut up, Pam. Sookie`s coming to visit. In July, actually.”
I could almost hear Pam`s smile over the phone. “Oh, that`s great. How long is she staying?”
“I have no idea. But I`m excited even if it`s for just a day.”
Pam laughed. “Oh, you have it bad, brother.”
I nodded though Pam couldn`t see it. “I like her, Pam. Nothing wrong with liking someone.”
We talked for a few minutes about what I could show Sookie – which sites to take her out to see and then we hung up. I went back to my computer and wrote Sookie a reply, telling her that I was looking forward to seeing her again. I may even have been cheesy in my e-mail to the woman I was about to hold in my arms again soon.
I was way too excited to have breakfast so when I noticed someone had put up a YouTube clip with “Sookie Stackhouse” in the topic, I clicked on it and began watching.
I`d never watched that show before and had to crank up the volume to catch what they were saying. All five hostesses seemed to want to talk at the same time. But when Sookie was asked if she loved that 13 year younger man she`d met, I didn`t need to hear her answer to feel the butterflies in my stomach grow. Her blush was enough.
I felt bad for Sookie that the fact that she`d met me had been used against her in the court case against her ex-husband but my ego grew a mile by the fact that Sookie had acknowledged me on that show.
I wasn`t just some casual thing for her.
Or so I hoped.
I looked at my watch and realized I was late for work so I ran out the door, a huge smile planted on my face.
Later that evening I was exhausted, as I usually was when I came home from work but for some reason I felt the need to clean my apartment. That need did not come over me very often – yet now it was imperative for me to clean out all the dust bunnies and wash the bed linens.
I knew why I wanted to clean my small apartment and I tried to tell myself I would have all the time in the world since Sookie wouldn`t be here until July, but when I went to bed that night, my apartment was shining.
Time crawled in turtle-speed while I waited for Sookie to arrive. I went to my new job as a nurse at the Radiumhospital every day – a job I had been so proud to get and now I found it meant so much less than the fact that I would soon see the woman I had come to find that I … loved – and I did all the things I usually did. But really, I spent my time waiting for Sookie.
Yes, it was pathetic. I wasn`t usually the sort of guy who pined for a woman. I was the sort of guy who would screw around, who would fuck anyone batting her eyes, the sort of guy who would sing, drink and be merry.
It was ironic, really, that I turned out to be the pining sort of guy. That I was a one-woman-guy deep inside. Especially since that one woman was complicated as few and living on the other side of the globe.
But even if time moved slowly, the day Sookie was supposed to step her beautiful feet – yeah, I was up to my neck talking about her fairly ordinary feet like that – in my country again. I got up early that morning, cleaned the apartment one more time, took a long shower and went to pick her up at the airport.
I recalled the ups and downs of our relationship. The hot start, the misunderstandings and now her visiting me. Not to mention Sookie blushing at that television show. That was what really threw me into my cleaning spree. And my pining for her. I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to deserve that blush.
I`d come off enough airplanes and never thought twice about the people waiting for their loved ones. I`d seen some of them carrying flags and some flowers, but I`d never really seen them. They`d just been there and never for me.
And now I was there. I didn`t have any flowers or flags and kept second guessing myself on both. I only had my nerves and I had them in abundance.
But when Sookie came out through customs I couldn`t help smiling. Or running towards her and lifting her up. She was my woman and damn if I didn`t want everyone to see it.
I gave her a deep kiss and it wasn`t until someone coughed, I realized that we were blocking the doorway.
I put Sookie down again, grabbed the luggage cart in one hand and her in the other. It was so amazing to have her hand in mine again.
“How was your flight?” I couldn`t care less about her flight, really, but that`s what you`re supposed to ask people you pick up at the airport, right?
“It was fine, Eric. And it`s good to see you again.”
I let go of her hand and grabbed her around the waist instead and hugged her into my side while walking. “I`m looking so much forward to having you here again.”
She giggled and I adored the sound of it. With all the stuff Sookie had been put through, she deserved a few giggles. And I was going to give it all to her.
Yes, I felt all male and protective and strong, walking through the airport to the parking lot, with my arm around Sookie. Which was silly because Sookie was strong herself and didn`t need my protection. But I still had this basic feeling of wanting to make sure nothing bad would ever hurt her again. To make her life a dance on roses – no thorns included.
I could see her surprise when I opened the door to my apartment.
“What? No dust bunnies?” she teased.
“I had a bit better warning than the last time you stayed at my place,” I said, trying to hide my pride.
When did I become one of those guys who was proud because his woman noticed that he`d cleaned his apartment? Probably when I started referring to a woman as my woman.
“Are you tired? Do you want to rest awhile?” I asked.
“That depends on the alternative,” she said with a smirk and it didn`t take me many seconds to realize what she was saying and to plant my lips on hers and my hands all over her body.
Had I been a less selfish man, I would have paid attention to the dark shadows under her eyes and the fact that she had lost a whole night of sleep due to the time difference. But I was selfish. I wanted her and since she wanted me as well, I did not press the issue of her taking a nap.
Sookie was a grown up, right? If she wanted sleep, she both could and would tell me so. After all, she`d managed to tell me that I wouldn`t have any use for that huge supply of condoms I`d stocked up in my drawer. She was using birth control pills.
So we ended up making use of my bed for other activities than Sookie napping after a long flight. Activities that felt so good that I was a mixture of emotions when we were lying in each other`s arms afterwards.
I was so incredibly happy, I didn`t have words to express it. I felt a companionship – no, a bond – to Sookie. She was my family. But those feelings were also mixed up with fear of losing her again. And that was what prompted me to ask her when she was leaving.
“Why?” she asked laughing. “You want me to go already?”
I tickled her and may have pinched her gorgeous butt because of that response.
“No, I want you to stay forever but I wanted to know when I will be deprived of your lovely company,” I said when we had settled down again.
“My return ticket is in three months but I could travel around a bit if you get tired of having me here. After all, I didn`t see much of Scandinavia the last time I was here.”
“Tired of having you here? Are you crazy? If I`d had a basement, I would have locked you up there just to make sure you never left me again.” I gave her a kiss just to make sure she didn`t think I meant the part with the basement – though I wasn`t so sure I didn`t. Now that Sookie was here, I knew I wouldn`t want her to go. I just didn`t know how to make her stay.
“Good thing you don`t have a basement, then,” she said, grinning.
I rolled over on my back and pulled her to lie on my chest. I loved having her there, listening to my heart. And it was also a perfect position if you have to ask someone embarrassing questions. No eye contact.
“You`re welcome to stay longer, Sookie.”
She kissed my nipple. “I would love to but I have a life back in New York too.”
I took a deep breath. It was make or break.
“We could … have you ever considered having children?”
Sookie raised her head and looked at me and I wanted to hide under my pillow. It wasn`t that I wanted to un-ask the question. It was one I had wanted to ask her for a long time. She was pushing 40 and I knew time was an issue. And though I`d never wanted children before, I had started to picture the little blond brats she and I could produce.
If she wanted children, that is. And if she could have them.
So I held my breath and tried to keep my face neutral.
“I`m a bit old now, Eric,” she said.
“You`re only 39,” I said, happy that she hadn`t dismissed it entirely. Or was that only my interpretation?
“I`ll be 40 next month.”
“So? Plenty of women have children when they`re 40. Or 45. A colleague of mine just announced that she was pregnant and she`s 46.” It was an exaggeration. Gry had been 42, but that was still older than 40.
“What are you saying, Eric? That you want us to start a family? We`ve only known each other since Christmas and only seen each other for two weeks – one at Christmas and one at Easter. We live on different continents.” She paused. “And I`m almost 40.”
“Sure, but I`m only 26 so the kid would have a young dad. And we both have professions that make us movable.”
“Which is not without complications. And it still leaves the fact that we hardly know each other.” Sookie kissed my nipple again.
I wanted to say that I knew she was the one for me but I realized they would just be words. I wanted to ask her why she and Bill hadn`t had any children but I figured it was none of my business. Plus, she hadn`t told me she hated children or had made an early decision never to have them. And she hadn`t mentioned not being able to have children. She was on the pill, after all.
So I assumed it was that Bill was either infertile or hadn`t wanted children. Or that she hadn`t wanted hischildren.
“Then I suggest we get to know each other better pretty damned fast,” I said and let my hands glide down her back to her butt.
There are some advantages to being young. Short recuperating time, for one.
We got into a routine pretty quickly. We got up in the morning, had breakfast and when I was at work, Sookie worked or rested or went out on trips to see the city.
When I came home we had dinner or went out to eat. Sometimes we watched a movie and sometimes we went for a long walk.
When I had a day off, I would show her my town and my country.
We talked and we were quiet. We enjoyed life and we had plenty of sex.
This was the kind of family life I`d always wanted. Well, I had never consciously wanted it until I had it now with Sookie. But now that I had it, I didn`t want to let it go. I didn`t want to let Sookie go home.
I`m not sure when the idea of messing with Sookie`s birth control pills surfaced. It might have been that first night when she had unpacked her things and that little package of pills lay there on my bathroom sink. It might have been later when I saw babies all over the place. When had people started having so many kids?
So one morning, when Sookie had already been to the bathroom but hadn`t taken the pill she took every morning, I pressed one out of the package and threw it in the toilet. It was one of those spur of the moment kinds of things and I immediately felt bad about doing it.
But did I regret it? No.
I told myself that I wasn`t forcing a pregnancy on her. I was just helping fate. The lies we tell ourselves.
Knowing that Sookie wasn`t 100% protected was like an aphrodisiac to me. If we`d had sex every night up until then, I made sure we also made love in the morning or the afternoon. And when Sookie went down on me, I never finished in her mouth. I told her I wanted to come inside her and that was the naked truth.
Sookie didn`t seem to complain. Actually she was one of those women who wanted more when there was more to be had and often initiated sex even if we`d already made love that day. Or the night before.
Sookie`s being in my apartment was one big humping party and I enjoyed every moment of it. Every mans`s dream, right?
Though I doubted every man looked for pregnancy signs in the woman with whom he had sex daily.
I did, though. Was she a little bit sick in the morning? Were her breasts a little heavier? Was she more tired than usual?
I knew those signs wouldn`t come immediately, but I still looked for them.
And I made sure she ate well. We had beans, asparagus, spinach and even turnips for dinner. Anything to make sure she got enough folic acid.
I was so on edge because of the possible pregnancy that I hadn`t prepared myself for Sookie getting her period. When she rejected me one night because of it, I was devastated.
“Aaw, sweetheart. There are other things we can do,” she comforted me.
I felt like an ass because I should have been the one comforting her. She was in pain and now she thought I was whining over not getting my daily sex dose. I forced myself to give her one of my winning smiles.
“Maybe there`s something I can do for you?” I said, letting my hand snake down her stomach. “I hear orgasms are great pain relievers.”
“You want to … ? Don`t you find it gross?” she asked.
“I`m a nurse. Since when do I find blood gross?”
My hand crept under the waistband of her panties and I pushed them and the pad she was wearing slightly down to give me room to maneuver. Sookie accommodated me by spreading her legs a bit more. Soon my fingers found their favorite playground and I relished the advantages of Sookie`s being so very well lubricated. It made it possible to be a little more daring, a little rougher – something she seemed to enjoy very much.
Soon I had her panting and moaning and when I kissed and sucked on her breast – who says men can`t multitask? – as well, I felt the familiar signs of an impending orgasm.
I captured her mouth with mine just as she moaned out her pleasure and I kept kissing her while her body tensed and then became still.
When I pulled back and looked at her, my fingers having moved up to carress the lovely curls she had between her legs, I enjoyed the deep sigh that came out of her half open mouth.
After a few moments she looked at me.
“It actually did help with the pain,” she said as if she were surprised.
“You mean that you`ve never tried this specific brand of pain medication before?” I asked.
She laughed. “No, I haven`t. Bil … most men find it gross.”
I noticed how she`d almost said the name of her ex-husband and was glad she changed the sentence. I didn`t want Bill present in our bed.
“Well, I don`t. As a matter of fact, if you`re up for it, I could do it again,” I offered. “Just to make sure you make it through the night.”
“You`re such a philanthropist, Eric,” she said, laughing. “Would your offer include getting other body parts of yours bloody?”
I grinned. “It would.”
And with that I went into the bathroom, washed my bloody fingers and retrieved a towel. When I came back I spread the towel underneath Sookie`s butt and pulled off her panties, pad and all.
I`d never understood why people didn`t have sex just because the woman menstruated. After all, most women bleed 20% of the time up until they are in their fifties. That`s a lot of potential sex-time to miss out on. Yes, I was being entirely selfish in my calculations.
I kissed Sookie deeply and entered her carefully – not wanting to bump her cervix or cause her discomfort.
I liked the different paces Sookie and I made love in and taking it slowly, looking into her eyes when she came – it was a beautiful thing.
So what if she hadn`t conceived the first chance she`d gotten? Sookie was 39 and took most of her birth control pills this past month.
The Goddess of Fate hadn`t had a real chance. She would need more help next month.
First of all: I feel the need to stress that I do not condone Eric`s practice. Kids should be the result of a united decision (or a united mistake as it happens for most of us) – not one tricking the other. But I figured it would be “typical” Eric who tricked Sookie into marrying him in the books.
Second of all: I hope you survived the sex scene. I personally agree with Eric on this subject and never meant to disgust anyone. I`m so sorry if I did.